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U of M | Minneapolis | St. Paul
Tuesday
May 22, 2012
Have love problems? Ask the Doctor!
May. 03, 2012
Dear Dr. Date,
A few months back I met a great guy. He’s cute, funny, our dates are awesome and the sex is amazing.
HOWEVER, I don’t get to see him very often. We both have busy schedules between school and work. OH. He also lives in Rochester. Lately, he’s been dropping hints that he’d like us to be something more.
May. 02, 2012
Dear Dr. Date,
My boyfriend keeps hurting me. Not physically, but emotionally. He’ll do really careless, selfish things like hit on other girls in front of me, or just not show up to my house when we have plans without saying anything. Every time I bring it up with him he apologizes sincerely, says he knows he shouldn’t do things like that and promises to be better.
May. 01, 2012
Dear Dr. Date,
What are your thoughts on shacking up with a former boss? He hasn’t been my supervisor for a couple of years now, but it still seems a little weird...
Especially when he calls me his “naughty employee.”
—Not A Naughty Intern
 
Hey,
There’s nothing wrong with hitting it after you’ve quit it.
Apr. 30, 2012
Dear Dr. Date,
This is a joint effort. We are involved in a vicious cycle. This is a cry for help.
Apr. 26, 2012
Dear Dr. Date,
So my girl and I were happily spooning and watching a movie in my room when she did the unthinkable: She farted. She was little spoon! I was so shocked that I had to leave the room, and she got very self-conscious. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but it affected me a lot, to the point where I couldn’t even get it up to have sex with her later! Things are really awkward. ... What do I tell her now?
—Big Spoon
 
Apr. 25, 2012
Dear Dr. Date,
What are your feelings on the appropriateness of using dating websites/apps while in a relationship? A friend of mine saw my boyfriend using Grindr ...
It doesn’t say he’s in a relationship or anything, and he’s been traveling lately for work. He cheated on me once in the past with his ex, so now my suspicions are fired up. How do I approach this? Is it one of Liz Lemon’s deal-breakers?
—30 Rocker
 
Jenna Moron-y,
Apr. 24, 2012
Dear Dr. Date,
I’m writing once again for more advice.
I’m currently in a relationship.
There’s this girl that was in my class, and I have this suspicion that she likes me. This girl, I’ve seen her a few times these past few weeks. I just can’t get her out of my mind. I’m actually interested in getting to know her because I want to be friends with her.
More Dr. Date »
Overheard Something? Tell Us!
May. 03, 2012
“You do realize that by Saturday, every fluid in my body will be replaced with Red Bull.”
—Ruttan Hall
 
“I made a shot in the dark, and I hit the boob.”
—GrandMarc Seven Corners
 
Girl 1: “I miss guys!”
Girl 2: “Yes! I need some testosterone in my life!”
May. 02, 2012
“Hunting is like yoga, except you get to kill [expletive]!”
—Comstock Hall
 
Professor: “I’ve never had smoked iguana, but I have smoked marijuana.”
—Andrew Boss Laboratory-Meat Science
 
Girl: “I could totally ride a unicycle if it had handlebars.”
Guy: “Yeah, handlebars and another WHEEL!”
—2 Bus
 
“When we’re old and our husbands all die, can we live together again?”
—Dinkytown
 
May. 01, 2012
“My final ends at 4 o’clock. I plan to be stoned by 4:05.”
—Coffman Union
 
Professor: “How boring would that be?! To talk about things that are in no way related to sex?”
—Biology class
 
Girl: “Girl, why can’t I just find a normal douchebag [to date]?”
Apr. 30, 2012
Guy 1: “I haven’t had sex in, like, a week.”
Guy 2: “Wow. Dry spell?”
Guy 1: “I could have, but I had more important things to do. Like playing WoW [World of Warcraft].”
—Middlebrook Hall
 
Guy: “I didn’t think when you were telling our class that 50 percent of us would fail that someday I’d be spooning with you.”
—Bierman Field
 
Boy (looking at the label of something): “Extremely perishable.”
Apr. 26, 2012
Professor: “Let’s face it: There’s never a shark around when you need one.”
—Blegen Hall
 
Professor: “I got asked to five proms throughout my junior and senior year. I don’t think it was because they liked me; it was probably because I had a reputation of being loose.”
—Moos Tower
 
Apr. 25, 2012
Professor: “What do monarch butterflies eat?”
Class: [mumbles]
Student: “... children!”
—Biological Sciences building
 
Guy 1: “Guess what I’m getting this Wednesday!”
Guy 2: “Syphilis?”
—Bailey Hall
 
Mom: “Did you lose your credit card?”
Guy: “No, why?”
Mom: “I saw you had a $140 withdrawal on it.”
Guy: “Yeah, I bought a keg ...”
—Folwell Hall
 
Apr. 24, 2012
Guy 1: “You know you’re in a math and science building when there’s an integral written on the bathroom stall.”
Guy 2: “Probably the integral of e to the x on the interval of six to nine.”
Guy 1: “Close, it was a natural log.”
—Smith Hall
 
Guy: “I can’t stand it when guys say that women belong in the kitchen!”
More Overheard »
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